Gen Z is Obsessed with Cheating

Are we the generation that’s strictest on our partners? 

Lauren Jordanich

Image by Anh Huynh

The other day, I asked my mom—a worldly Gen Xer who has been in her fair share of romantic relationships, including a 25+ year marriage—how she defined “cheating.”

“Well, it’s when you do something with someone who isn’t your partner,” she responded.

“Do something?” I asked, pressing her to spell out what I knew she was alluding to but didn’t want to say out loud.

“Yes, you know what I mean,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Kissing, sex, etc. Something physical. Why? Did you do something you shouldn’t have?” she teased.

What caught my attention was that she defined cheating as something purely physical. She didn’t mention anything about “emotional cheating” or “suspicious behavior.” To her—and from what I’ve gathered, to a lot of people in her generation—cheating in a relationship requires action. Of course, there are non-physical things she wouldn’t be okay with her partner doing, but she doesn’t consider those things to be “cheating.”

On the contrary, in scrolling through TikTok and talking to my friends, I’ve found that younger people throw the word “cheating” around much more freely. For example, the term “micro-cheating” describes different ways a partner can cheat that are more subtle than the traditional, black-and-white portrayals we see in movies and TV. To Gen Z, cheating isn’t just sleeping with someone else; it can also include things like sharing knowing looks behind your partner’s back or maintaining contact with your exes.

Is our generation too sensitive in relationships and less trusting of our partners? Or are older generations too trusting and not sensitive enough? Who’s right about what counts as cheating?

What I believe to be the answer—as is true with most things—is that what is “correct” lies somewhere in the middle and varies from person to person (or, in this case, couple to couple).

However, I think it’s no coincidence that what used to exist in relationship gray areas is now called “cheating.” I think that says something about our generation.

From the COVID-19 pandemic to the shifting political climate of this country, we have witnessed so much chaos and destruction while transitioning from childhood to adulthood that we will do anything to avoid more of it in our romantic relationships. As a whole, we’re more wary of people’s intentions than our parents were, which leads many of us to set stricter boundaries when it comes to matters of the heart.

While self-preservation and a refusal to tolerate someone’s BS are good things, becoming obsessed with cheating—to the point where your partner will inevitably cross a line at some point—isn’t. In the end, it will only lead to more heartache.