Blending in with the Crowd: Finding Your Place in the City

by Owen Richardson

Graphic by Katelyn Holland

Cities are magnetic. They pulse with life, brimming with people, energy, and endless possibilities. For some, the draw is obvious—extroverts thrive in the constant hum of activity, where every street corner offers a new conversation and every event a fresh connection. Others, however, are pulled toward urban landscapes for reasons they can’t always articulate, despite preferring solitude over social immersion. So why do cities captivate us, regardless of our social inclinations?

The Extrovert’s Playground

For those who gain energy from social interactions, cities provide the ultimate playground. There’s never a shortage of things to do, places to go, or people to meet. Coffee shops, networking events, concerts, and bustling parks serve as natural gathering spaces where the extroverted thrive. The anonymity of a crowd can feel invigorating rather than isolating—offering the best of both worlds: community and variety. 

The Solitary City-Dweller

For those who recharge through solitude, the city might seem like an unlikely choice. And yet, it calls to them. Maybe it’s the comfort of knowing that even in a crowd, no one expects anything from you. The city provides solitude wrapped in a cocoon of background noise: the quiet focus of reading in a packed café, the meditative nature of a solo subway ride, or the ability to disappear into the rhythm of the streets.

Unlike in smaller towns, cities offer an unspoken permission to exist alone. BU is located within a larger city, but I believe that it also functions as a city itself. We have a total enrollment of over 30,000 students and over 4,000 faculty, more than a small city.  Because of this, it can be an exciting place for self-discovery, but also an easy place to get lost in the crowd.

Blending In vs. Standing Out

The beauty of a city is that it allows for both blending in and standing out, often within the same day. You can be an anonymous observer in the morning, slipping into the city’s current unnoticed, and by night, you can step into the spotlight—whether that means dancing in a crowded club or simply running into an old friend at the grocery store.

The city meets you where you are, accommodating both your need for connection and your desire for space. And for many, that’s precisely the allure.

Finding Your Own Rhythm

Whether you thrive in social settings or cherish your solitude, finding your rhythm in the city is key. Here’s how to embrace urban life on your own terms:

• For Extroverts: Seek out regular haunts that offer familiar faces. Get involved in community events. Say yes to spontaneous plans but also create downtime to avoid burnout.

• For Introverts: Identify quiet spaces where you can retreat—libraries, hidden courtyards, early morning walks. Engage with the city in ways that feel natural, 

• For Everyone: Let the city surprise you. Wander without a plan. Try a new neighborhood. Be open to chance encounters, but also embrace the beauty of simply existing within urban life.

  
  

Regardless of why we are drawn to cities, they offer a unique paradox: the ability to be alone without isolation and to connect without obligation. Whether you thrive in the crowd or find comfort in its periphery, urban life has a way of shaping itself to fit you—if you let it.